Rihanna struggled to hold back the tears as she admitted she still loves her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown in an interview with Oprah Winfrey.
Rihanna is not afraid to admit that Chris Brown is the love of her life (Picture: OWN)
The We Found Love singer told the American talk show host the pair are still working on their fractured relationship after he beat her black and blue the night before she was due to perform at the 2009 Grammy Awards.
'We built a trust again and that's it. We love each other and we probably always will,' the 24-year-old explained.
'We've been working on our friendship again and now we're very close friends,' she said. 'And that's not anything we're going to try to change.'
The former lovers have met up numerous times since she dropped the restraining order against him last year, but RiRi says it doesn't get any easier seeing the Don't Wake Me Up singer after all these years.
'It's awkward because I still love him,' she told Oprah on her show Oprah's Next Chapter.
The superstar told Oprah Winfrey how the Don't Wake Me Up singer still makes her stomach drop (Picture: OWN)
'My stomach drops and I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me. I have to maintain it and suppress it.'
And although Brown is now in a relationship with model Karrueche Tran, RiRi isn't afraid to reaffirm her undying love for him.
'I think he is the love of my life. He was my first love,' she said, before going on to explain that she has forgiven her violent ex for assaulting her.
'I truly love him, so the main thing for me is that he's at peace... I care. It actually matters [to me] that he finds that peace.'
Brown is now in a relationship with model Karrueche Tran (Picture: Xposurephotos.com)
She continued: 'I can't tell people how to feel about it. They're entitled to feel angry because it wasn't a good thing that happened. But I have forgiven him.'
Learning from the ordeal, the Bajan beauty now knows exactly what she's looking for in a man.
She told Oprah: 'I know what I want. I want a man that loves me, cherishes me, values me.
'I want them to respect me but I want fun times. I want fun fun times. I want laughs more than anything.
'I have everything else all I want is a partner in crime to enjoy it with me.'
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