Kate Moss feared she was at death's door during a breakdown sparked by posing nude with Mark Wahlberg as a teenager.
Off her chest: Kate Moss opens up about life as a model (Picture: Mert Alas/Marcus Piggott/Vanity Fair)
The supermodel lifted the lid on the realities of modelling – an industry which left her on Valium, hungry and fearing her career would be over if she did not bare all.
She said her problems started when she had to strip off for the iconic 1992 Calvin Klein photoshoot with Wahlberg. 'I had a nervous breakdown when I was 17 or 18, when I had to go and work with Marky Mark and Herb Ritts,' she told Vanity Fair.
'It didn't feel like me at all. I felt really bad about straddling this buff guy. I didn't like it.
'I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. I thought I was going to die. I went to the doctor, and he said, "I'll give you some Valium".'
She said her only friend in fashion, Francesca Sorrenti, stopped her from taking the pills.
'It was just anxiety. Nobody takes care of you mentally.
'There's a massive pressure to do what you have to do. I was really little,' said the 38-year-old. 'But it was work and I had to do it.'
Looking back, she admitted to being horrified at being asked to strip at such a young age. 'I see a 16-year-old now – and to ask her to take her clothes off would feel really weird,' she said.
'But they were like, "If you don't do it, then we're not going to book you again".
Read the full interview in the December issue of Vanity Fair
'So I'd lock myself in the toilet and cry and then come out and do it. I never felt very comfortable about it. There's a lot of boobs. I hated my boobs! Because I was flat-chested. And I had a big mole on one.
'That picture of me running down the beach – I'll never forget doing that because I made the hairdresser, who was the only man on the shoot, turn his back.'
Moss also hit back at accusations that she helped make 'heroin chic' fashionable and said her skinny frame was down to a lack of food while working.
'I was thin but that's because I was doing shows, working really hard,' she explained.
'You'd get to work in the morning, there was no food. Nobody took you out for lunch when I started. Carla Bruni took me out for lunch once. She was really nice. Otherwise, you don't get fed. But I was never anorexic.'
Now married to rocker Jamie Hince, mother-of-one Moss also opened up about her split from Johnny Depp in 1997.
'There's nobody that's ever really been able to take care of me. Johnny did for a bit,' she said.
'I believed what he said. Like if I said, "What do I do?" he'd tell me. And that's what I missed when I left. I really lost that gauge of somebody I could trust. Nightmare. Years and years of crying. Oh, the tears!'
Read the full interview in the December issue of Vanity Fair, out on Friday.
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